Hold out your hand and say, “Would you be kind enough to hold this while I go out for a walk?”.When a girl stares at you, say, “Wait! Before you cast those dreamy eyes on me, I want to get my maps and GPS ready.“Girl, will you stop getting any hotter? You are killing the poor thermometer!”.“How on earth do you do that?” (Girl – what?) “Look so damn good!”.“Girl, I know what you did last summer.How about we take a walk to remember and make things better!” “What are you doing this evening?” (Girl – nothing) “Let’s do nothing together then!”.
“Have you ever been to the moon?” (Girl – no) “Wow, me neither. I’ll give you a kiss and if you don’t like it, you can return it. For some reason, your number isn’t in it. “I’m addicted to ‘Yes’, and I’m allergic to ‘No’. “I sure hope lady, that you know CPR, cos you are taking my breath away!”. And if you too wanna be that funny guy then take a look at this one and find funny things to say to a girl. You must have heard that girls like the funny guys the best. An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t. A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that you can get from your wife for free. If you lend someone money and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it. Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly. We consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. If you think no one cares if you’re dead or alive miss a couple of credit card payments. Whoever said money don’t buy you happiness just didn’t know where to shop!. If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people. The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y. When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. Excuse my naivety – I was born at a very early age. Hopefully if/when one wipes out they are wearing the helmet at that time. What the heck is wrong with this picture folks?!? Seriously if I only had one helmet and me and my 2 boys were going for a bike ride I would say, "boys we only have one helmet so Ethan you get it for the first block, Mekhi the second block and we will continue to switch from block to block". But on a second glance I realized that only the mother was wearing a helmet and the 2 kids were not. I looked up to see a mother, and her 2 children riding thier bikes down the road.at first glance this made me smile and I thought how nice is that. I am a short black man for starters and those are 2 things to be angry about!! Anyway what I saw 2 weeks ago really made me angry, I was driving my 6 yr old to school when he said, "look dad, those kids are riding their bikes to school". Ok, some would say I am angry all the time and maybe this is true but I do have things to be angry about. Maybe its just me but I found this story funny and it left me applauding the kid and shaking my head at the twit who stole the cup!! Nice try buddy, you stole the cup and got busted plain and simple. I know one thing, the next April Fools joke I plan will include calling this kid because she is good! But back to the bright guy who stole the cup, after it is found out that this girl made the cup and it is indeed a fake, he goes back on the news to say well I must have picked that cup up with the rest of the garbage and thought it was mine and thats how I got it. #Things crack head bobby say tv#
First of all, never and I mean never go on tv and tell the world your too stupid to do anything, and never and I mean never go on the news and call out Tim Hortons or any other company for not doing the right thing and giving you your prize when you stole the cup from someone else!!! It gets better, it turns out the cup belonged to a 12 yr old girl who used the cup as an April Fool's joke on her mom, thats right a 12 yr girl made this cup in all of 15 mins she said. Whats funny is when Tim Hortons says this cup is a fake, he goes on the news to say how he is disappointed with Tim Hortons for not honoring him and his winning cup, and how dare they accuse him of making the fake cup, as he claims he is too stupid to do that (his words not mine). A man was hired to do some painting at house which he did do but while he was there spotted a tim's cup with the rim rolled up and it was a winning cup! A brand new car!! The painter/thief pockets the cup and goes to claim his brand new car. Ok this is a funny and true story which I am sure most of you heard by now.
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